Today I had one of those days where I'm struggling to keep my head above the water. One of those days where the waves are high and I can't focus on anything around me. One of those days where at the end, I'm desperately trying to realize where I am in life. Trying to remember that life isn't about surviving, it's about serving.
Ever have so much going on that it feels like it isn't your life? Like you're living your life on top of someone else's & you can't keep them straight anymore or remember what's important? Like you're just going through the motions? Where was the fire today, where has it been?
.
Dec 3, 2013
Dec 2, 2013
challenge me
Opinionated people are always the most challenging to me, in the best way. When you dig your heels into the ground and make up your mind about your beliefs in life, you become less impressionable. These are the people that can actually maintain meaningful conversations. These are the people who want to know what you think, why you think it, and why it works or doesn't work. They're also not afraid to share their side.
The hard part about being a christian is that you have to be this way, but you also have to be open in order to understand the way other people think. You have to be loving as well. Being a closed off, hard-hearted christian is the last thing God wants. You can believe in him all you want but your life will never progress if you never share it.
The more you share things that mean something to you, the easier it gets.
This is what being a "good & faithful servant" is all about. It's the difficult to talk about- nerve-wracking- deep in your heart stuff. Putting the most vulnerable version of yourself out on the table time & time again.
I've only met a few people in my life who are actually like this. People who don't run into their shells when confronted with something they don't agree with. We have to fight this fight like warriors in God's army. We have to declare truths in a world of falsities. We have to get worked up about things and remember that being loving is not always about "not hurting feelings."
Love is about Truth.
Nov 24, 2013
purpose
Just in case I haven't made this clear, I am a firm believer in purpose. I believe each of us has a specific place in the world and extreme potential, but we just have to access it by a number of increasingly difficult tasks.
1. prayer, devotion, faithfulness
2. worship in every area of your life. worshipping God with every action. every word. every thought.
3. a giant leap of pure, unexplainable, original faith.
God wants everything. He has called us to be his hands & feet in this world. In order to make a difference we've got to be 100% there, focused, determined, and ready. When we put forth the effort, he makes us able.
well that kind of makes us sound like puppets, doesn't it? why do I have to do everything He says for the rest of forever?
God not only created you for a purpose, but he also designed you individually with specific desires & ambitions. so ultimately, we WANT to accomplish these things! to both fulfill our lives and serve a powerful God! double win.
It doesn't mean it won't be absolutely terrifying in every sense of the word.
It doesn't mean we won't have to make sacrifices that will change us forever.
It doesn't exempt us from pain, loss, and heartache.
Oct 30, 2013
Test Everything
In 1 Thessalonians 5, Paul gives a list of final instructions for the Thessalonians before he leaves. One of the most noteworthy instructions was when he said "test everything."
There was a time in my life not too long ago when I didn't really care about reasons behind what I thought was right. I had beliefs that I stood behind but I realized that if someone asked my why I believed them, I would have an embarrassingly weak response.
The more you test beliefs, ideas, and people, the more opinionated you become. You begin to stand stronger in your beliefs or even change them, because you've begun to prove them. This also heightens discernment & your ability to call people's bluffs. You become smarter. You can tell the differences in beliefs between different people & you begin to understand their mind. When you understand someone's mind, you have infinitely more leverage in their life.
God also uses you more. You've become more faithful in actively testify the truths that He taught you.
Test the things you know for sure as well as the things you don't know. Test everything.
Oct 28, 2013
focus
-this one is for the christians-
One of the most fundamental things to understand about being a christian is that none of it will make sense to you until you see it at the end. If you call yourself a christian, it means that you have devoted your life to serving God, no matter how crazy or weird or random or scary His will may seem.
Have you ever been used by God? It's pretty fulfilling when you see the outcome isn't it? If you don't know what I'm talking about, good, because neither do I. The truth is, we almost NEVER see the outcome. It's not our outcome to see. It's not our plan.
For instance. Let's say you have a friend at school or work or whatever that needs to hear Truth. You feel God telling you to go say something to them, anything positive at all, and you start to get nervous and self conscious. You suck it up though, & swallow your pride. You go over there, say what you need to say, and they shut you down. They totally shove it aside or laugh in your face. Then you get really discouraged and you wonder why you even did that in the first place. What a waste of time, that was all for nothing.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
ok, first of all, here's a list of things you did that were wrong:
1. you got nervous. This may seem horrible of me to say, but seriously, since when are we trying to please people of this earth?! You shouldn't be worried about what they're going to think of you, ultimately you should be excited that the God of the UNIVERSE CHOSE YOU. He chose YOU over everyone else on the planet to talk to that individual and you're sitting here worried about what they're going to think of you? seriously.
2. you got hurt & now it's going to be awkward around him/her. ok so.... all the sudden this whole thing was your idea? Their future is in your hands now & you screwed it up? no! Be sad they shut down GOD, their savior, the author & perfecter of their faith, not you!
You're on God's team now & that interaction was anything but a waste of time. Theres a plan for that person & you didn't write it and you don't have access to it. So stop trying to give your input. So they shut you down. You can be sad for them for missing that opportunity to change their life around but you did what you were told to do & unless otherwise directed, it's no longer your responsibility. You're not the savior. You just catch the fish.
The sad part is, our sinful nature is always looking for praise. Personally I always want my friends to tell me what a great job I'm doing. It's so bad!
As christians we are DEFINED in God. This means His approval is the only thing that's important, we can find all satisfaction in Him.
One of the most fundamental things to understand about being a christian is that none of it will make sense to you until you see it at the end. If you call yourself a christian, it means that you have devoted your life to serving God, no matter how crazy or weird or random or scary His will may seem.
Have you ever been used by God? It's pretty fulfilling when you see the outcome isn't it? If you don't know what I'm talking about, good, because neither do I. The truth is, we almost NEVER see the outcome. It's not our outcome to see. It's not our plan.
For instance. Let's say you have a friend at school or work or whatever that needs to hear Truth. You feel God telling you to go say something to them, anything positive at all, and you start to get nervous and self conscious. You suck it up though, & swallow your pride. You go over there, say what you need to say, and they shut you down. They totally shove it aside or laugh in your face. Then you get really discouraged and you wonder why you even did that in the first place. What a waste of time, that was all for nothing.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
ok, first of all, here's a list of things you did that were wrong:
1. you got nervous. This may seem horrible of me to say, but seriously, since when are we trying to please people of this earth?! You shouldn't be worried about what they're going to think of you, ultimately you should be excited that the God of the UNIVERSE CHOSE YOU. He chose YOU over everyone else on the planet to talk to that individual and you're sitting here worried about what they're going to think of you? seriously.
2. you got hurt & now it's going to be awkward around him/her. ok so.... all the sudden this whole thing was your idea? Their future is in your hands now & you screwed it up? no! Be sad they shut down GOD, their savior, the author & perfecter of their faith, not you!
You're on God's team now & that interaction was anything but a waste of time. Theres a plan for that person & you didn't write it and you don't have access to it. So stop trying to give your input. So they shut you down. You can be sad for them for missing that opportunity to change their life around but you did what you were told to do & unless otherwise directed, it's no longer your responsibility. You're not the savior. You just catch the fish.
The sad part is, our sinful nature is always looking for praise. Personally I always want my friends to tell me what a great job I'm doing. It's so bad!
As christians we are DEFINED in God. This means His approval is the only thing that's important, we can find all satisfaction in Him.
Oct 21, 2013
Resistance
What's the one thing you're not willing to give up? The one thing you know you'd be lost without? The thing you'd be terrified to lose.
If you call yourself a follower of Christ, remaining in your comfort zone eventually becomes sinful. If God is stirring in your heart, don't resist.
If God is putting you in a season of winter in your life, a season of death or rebuilding, don't run to Florida! Running back to your comfort zone may not be as demanding or difficult, but it also will never get you anywhere. You will never grow. You'll still go to heaven, you'll still live a fine life, but you will never fulfill your purpose, never be blessed beyond belief, never serve your Lord.
It's ok to lean in to God, you won't be deserted like you are with the people on Earth. The more we lean on God, the clearer His words are. The more purpose we find in ourselves. The more work we get done for the kingdom of God.
For me, purpose defines life. What's the point of being here if it's not to do something? I believe my full potential is there for me to live out, but I have to get up & figure it out first.
God's love is the strongest, purest, most convicting thing I have ever and will ever experience.
Oct 20, 2013
Where am I?
They tell me to live in the present, which I always thought I was doing.
I definitely don't live in the future, I'm honestly a little scared about it. My mentality is more "I think I was happy yesterday, so let's do that again."
How dangerous.
How long has this been going on? a year? two? my whole life?
I would rather be a continuously changing follower of Christ than to be stuck in yesterday. I would rather have people not recognize me as the person they knew yesterday because of how much I have improved mentally, emotionally, spiritually.
Being in college, I have first-hand experience of "staying afloat." I've been so incredibly busy that I have no time to sit down and remember who I was, who I am, & who I want to be. It's October. It was just October. Where have I been? College has whisked me away into a land of stress, competition, and deadlines. Do I actually want to compete with these people? Are they worth it? Am I?
I know the basics of what I want & what I've been called to do. It's actually getting there that's the hard part, & not falling into a comfort zone along the way.
Stop surviving & start LIVING.
I definitely don't live in the future, I'm honestly a little scared about it. My mentality is more "I think I was happy yesterday, so let's do that again."
How dangerous.
How long has this been going on? a year? two? my whole life?
I would rather be a continuously changing follower of Christ than to be stuck in yesterday. I would rather have people not recognize me as the person they knew yesterday because of how much I have improved mentally, emotionally, spiritually.
Being in college, I have first-hand experience of "staying afloat." I've been so incredibly busy that I have no time to sit down and remember who I was, who I am, & who I want to be. It's October. It was just October. Where have I been? College has whisked me away into a land of stress, competition, and deadlines. Do I actually want to compete with these people? Are they worth it? Am I?
I know the basics of what I want & what I've been called to do. It's actually getting there that's the hard part, & not falling into a comfort zone along the way.
Stop surviving & start LIVING.
Oct 16, 2013
Imitation
What do we imitate?
Things that inspire us?
People we love?
Things that make us laugh?
Authorities?
Do you think it's possible to consciously choose who exactly you want to be, or are we constantly influenced by our surroundings?
I have cases for both.
When you have no goal, you aren't aware of the things around you that are changing your future.
When you have a goal, you notice every single detail that could potentially derail you, and a determined person purposely avoids those things.
Generally people imitate for acceptance. Why? Why do we need other humans to approve of us? Why do we need assurance, respect, and a pat on the back from them? How does this lead to freedom? If anything, I think this pushes us away from freedom.
I've been walking my entire life living for the acceptance of other people.
Dressing for compliments, working hard for a pat on the back.
Why isn't it enough? I'm chasing something that's always going to be out of reach. Even the people with everything can't figure it out.
I want to be an imitator of God and nothing else. Because when I imitate God, I'm not doing it for credit. I'm doing it for a purpose. My purpose.
Things that inspire us?
People we love?
Things that make us laugh?
Authorities?
Do you think it's possible to consciously choose who exactly you want to be, or are we constantly influenced by our surroundings?
I have cases for both.
When you have no goal, you aren't aware of the things around you that are changing your future.
When you have a goal, you notice every single detail that could potentially derail you, and a determined person purposely avoids those things.
Generally people imitate for acceptance. Why? Why do we need other humans to approve of us? Why do we need assurance, respect, and a pat on the back from them? How does this lead to freedom? If anything, I think this pushes us away from freedom.
I've been walking my entire life living for the acceptance of other people.
Dressing for compliments, working hard for a pat on the back.
Why isn't it enough? I'm chasing something that's always going to be out of reach. Even the people with everything can't figure it out.
I want to be an imitator of God and nothing else. Because when I imitate God, I'm not doing it for credit. I'm doing it for a purpose. My purpose.
Oct 14, 2013
Welcome to Someday
Recently I've become a slightly different version of myself.
It's like someone flipped a switch in my life & I am suddenly extremely opinionated in my beliefs. My discernment is hypersensitive and I have the courage to call bullshit on most of the things that come out of people's mouths.
I'm not afraid anymore.
I'm not afraid of the things people are thinking about me.
This sounds cliche.
I'm not afraid of what God has planned for me... in fact I want it right now. I would drop everything I have right now if I knew God was telling me to. In fact I think He might be.
It all comes down to one thing, really.
I wasn't willing to give up everything I had before.
Faith is about risks. "Average" people are only average because the amount of amazing things they've done is equivalent to the amount of lackluster things. If you want to achieve your dreams or your purpose, if you want your dream house, dream job, or dream life, you have to be willing to go get it. Most of the time that means giving up your current job. Your current friends. Your comfortable life.
I honestly feel sad when I see someone with such great potential stuck in their mediocre job.
It's great to be thankful for the things you have.
It's great to stop and remember that your life is not the worst one out there.
But these things should not, and hopefully WILL NOT stop you from fulfilling your life.
What in the WORLD could be more important than doing what you were created to do?
It's like someone flipped a switch in my life & I am suddenly extremely opinionated in my beliefs. My discernment is hypersensitive and I have the courage to call bullshit on most of the things that come out of people's mouths.
I'm not afraid anymore.
I'm not afraid of the things people are thinking about me.
This sounds cliche.
I'm not afraid of what God has planned for me... in fact I want it right now. I would drop everything I have right now if I knew God was telling me to. In fact I think He might be.
It all comes down to one thing, really.
I wasn't willing to give up everything I had before.
Faith is about risks. "Average" people are only average because the amount of amazing things they've done is equivalent to the amount of lackluster things. If you want to achieve your dreams or your purpose, if you want your dream house, dream job, or dream life, you have to be willing to go get it. Most of the time that means giving up your current job. Your current friends. Your comfortable life.
I honestly feel sad when I see someone with such great potential stuck in their mediocre job.
It's great to be thankful for the things you have.
It's great to stop and remember that your life is not the worst one out there.
But these things should not, and hopefully WILL NOT stop you from fulfilling your life.
What in the WORLD could be more important than doing what you were created to do?
Apr 3, 2013
a little april update
thirteen tips to help the average person survive freshman year:
1. don't take chemistry. just had to get that out there right off the bat. it is the worst.
2. don't forget to eat. surprisingly an easy thing to forget to do when you have classes all. day. long.
3. treat yourself sometimes. buy a nasty sugar coffee drink and sit down for 5 seconds.
4. provide yourself with alone time. it's easy to forget your purpose when you never have time to think your own thoughts. read. draw. go for a walk.
5. don't let people talk down to you. they're here for the same reason.
6. ask for help sometimes. it's not the end of the world.
7. get a job! you don't have to work 100 hours a week but it's nice to have that place on campus where you have a little bit of control.
8. put your bed by the window. seriously the best thing ever.
9. do nice things for your peers. help them with homework, walk them to class. be selfless.
10. pull a few all nighters. it gives you perspective.
11. explore. plan things. give yourself something to look forward to so you don't drown in your overwhelming mixture of work load and self pity.
12. make a blog but never post to it.
13. just take the elevator.
xo
1. don't take chemistry. just had to get that out there right off the bat. it is the worst.
2. don't forget to eat. surprisingly an easy thing to forget to do when you have classes all. day. long.
3. treat yourself sometimes. buy a nasty sugar coffee drink and sit down for 5 seconds.
4. provide yourself with alone time. it's easy to forget your purpose when you never have time to think your own thoughts. read. draw. go for a walk.
5. don't let people talk down to you. they're here for the same reason.
6. ask for help sometimes. it's not the end of the world.
7. get a job! you don't have to work 100 hours a week but it's nice to have that place on campus where you have a little bit of control.
8. put your bed by the window. seriously the best thing ever.
9. do nice things for your peers. help them with homework, walk them to class. be selfless.
10. pull a few all nighters. it gives you perspective.
11. explore. plan things. give yourself something to look forward to so you don't drown in your overwhelming mixture of work load and self pity.
12. make a blog but never post to it.
13. just take the elevator.
xo
Jan 17, 2013
the latest scoop
well hello again to my readers, as scarce as you may be! :)
i know i claimed i would post again after finals were over but it became a crazy month & i finally have more than 12 seconds to myself, so here is a very long & complicated compilation of the things i have done since December 5th.
1. I completed semester one here at Marquette with a solid GPA! woot.
2. I realized my favorite kind of people on planet earth are nerdy math lovers with no shame... like me.
3. After finals week was over, my roommate caroline and her boyfriend vincent stayed at my house for 3 days. His flight didn't leave until after the weekend so we decided to make an event out of it. this weekend included lots of laughs, driving, food, coffee, and SLEEP! they don't tell you how tired you will be after finals week. it was kind of insane. Here is a picture of vincent and pepper. I dont know why this happened.
4. After they both went home, I immediately started working. a lot! like.... a lot!
5. I spent lots of time with my favorite person on earth. :)
[noodles & co.]
[date night at Bravo]
[Christmas Eve at Starbucks]
[late night BW3 runs]
[New Years]
[Boston Store]
[jacket shopping]
6. Jesse took me on a date to see the nutcracker!
7. sister time!
[maggie & me]
[cami & maggie]
[cami & mom]
[cami]
now it's time for round 2!
spring semester... here we go.
xoxo
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